Posts Tagged ‘Suicidal Thoughts’

NBA fans have seen little of newly acquired Los Angeles Clippers guard John Wall in recent seasons due to injuries and a lengthy team holdout.

The former All-Star recently opened up about his mental health struggles while dealing with on- and off-court issues during his NBA absence.

“(It was) the darkest place I’ve ever been in. At one point in time I considered committing suicide,” Wall said during his annual Salvation Army fundraiser earlier in August. “Tearing my Achilles, my mom being sick, my mom passing, my grandma passed a year later, all this in the midst of COVID at the same time.”

Wall is preparing to make his first appearance on an NBA floor since the 2020-21 campaign after sitting out all of last season as the rebuilding Houston Rockets held him out of competition. He played just 40 games the year prior, his first season with Houston after being traded from the Washington Wizards.

The five-time All-Star also missed the entire 2019-20 campaign with a torn Achilles, going through a portion of the lengthy rehab process at the start of the pandemic. In total, the 2010 No. 1 pick has played in just 113 games over the last five seasons.

Wall signed with the Clippers after the Rockets waived him earlier this offseason, and he’s slated to play a meaningful role on a contender for the first time in years.

The 31-year-old has found a new belief in himself as he begins a new stage in his career.

“I’m looking at all this and I’m like, if I can get through this, I can get through anything in life,” Wall said.

“For me to be back on top where I want to be, and to see the fans still want me to play, having support … (it) means a lot.”

There are some moments in life, good or bad, that one will never forget. For former WWE star Paige, one of those moments was when photos and videos of her were leaked, without her consent, in 2017. In an appearance on The Sessions with Renee Paquette, Paige took Paquette through the day, and how she found out while in San Antonio, Texas.

“It was just the most awful moment of my life,” Paige said. “The person that I was with at the time showed me a picture on Twitter. And I was just like, ‘Oh my God. Is that real?’ I couldn’t believe it was real at first, because I was 19 [at the time]. I was completely fucking mortified. I ran out of the house, and I just kept running. I remember I was inside a fucking bush, and I’ll always remember this, just sitting in this bush because I was like ‘If people recognize me, they’re going to know.’

“I felt so stupid to have trusted this person at the time. I never done it since, that was a lesson I learned, and I’ll never be caught dead doing anything like that again. But I felt so fucking stupid and I felt so embarrassed, and I was already a cokehead at this time and loved to drink. That really got me to the point where I didn’t want to be alive anymore. It was fing awful. I was just so fucking sad, and I remember being like ‘If my dad is a disappointed with me, I don’t think I could be here anymore. It got to that point.”

It was then that Paige decided to call her father, pro wrestler turned promoter Ricky Knight, who offered his unique support.

“I was just crying my eyes out, and I was like, ‘I’m so sorry,'” Paige said. “My dad was like, ‘What are you sorry for?’ And I was just like, ‘I don’t know. I just don’t want to disappoint you.’ He was like, ‘Are you kidding me? That shit made Kim Kardashian famous.’ He was trying to make a joke. He said, ‘Who cares? You had sex. Everyone’s done it. Unfortunately, you’re just in the public eye, right?’

“He was like, ‘It is what it is. You’ve got to suck it up. It’s going to hurt for a little bit and people are going to make fun of you for forever. But I just want you to know that I’m still proud of you and I’m not disappointed.’ He instantly changed the way I was feeling because I was very down. It was bad. I was ready to fucking end it all. It was just the most morifying experience.”

“I spoke on the phone with Mark Carrano, and I was like, ‘I’m going to lose my job. This is it too,'” Paige said. “But they were like, ‘Listen, it’s not your fault.’ That’s why I will never talk shit about them, at least publicly. They were so supportive and they were like, ‘We’ll get through it. We’ll try to get as much off the internet as possible.'”

These days Paige doesn’t let the incident bother her, save for one thing that involves her family and friends.

“The only thing I don’t like about it and it’s annoying that I’m even going to bring it up, but I hate that they send it to my family all the time to get at them,” Paige said. “That’s what they’ll do at this point. Even to my boyfriend. He’ll get it sent to him because it’s just fans that don’t want to see me or him happy.

“They’ll send it to anyone that’s close to me like, ‘This is your girlfriend. This is your daughter.’ I’m just like, ‘Who cares dude? What, are you a fucking virgin? It happens.’ So yeah. I got bullied relentlessly, it was fuckng awful. The bullying was starting to get me crazy to the point that I was cutting myself. I never thought I’d be a cutter, but I did, and it was fucking awful and I wish I hadn’t done it.”

Tennessee Titans wide receiver A.J. Brown seemed to have everything going his way in 2020, having his best season yet in the NFL on the way to earning his first Pro Bowl honor.

Behind his big smile, Brown said Thursday he was battling so hard with depression back then that he thought of killing himself. He shared a video on social media Nov. 12 on the one-year anniversary of that dark time, encouraging people to ask for help, and Brown told reporters Thursday that’s why he finally spoke up.

“It was a dark moment, and it was a year ago where I had thought about taking my life, you know? And it was special to me because it just came with my heart that I wanted to share with others and help others so much as I can,” Brown said of sharing his own struggle.

Growing up in Mississippi, Brown said he always brushed off his feelings and didn’t consider what depression really was. Brown wouldn’t share what led to his depression. Those feelings wound up almost overwhelming him.

Brown said he thought long and hard about posting the video he recorded earlier on Nov. 12. He was nervous about whether he should share his personal struggle with the world. Brown described what gave him the courage to do it.

“I just wanted to put out a positive message that I’m still here,” Brown said. “I’m still growing. I’m still learning. I’m blessed. I’ve got a lot of things to be grateful for and someone was there for me. So reach out to your loved ones and ask them how they’re doing and listen to them, you know, because it’s important.”

The response to Brown’s video has been very positive. Brown said a lot of men reached out, telling him what he shared was powerful. He also sat down with several Titans teammates who talked about their own struggles, which Brown says they need to do more often.

“You need to look out for one another,” Brown said. “I know we play this beautiful game, but you know, life is beautiful.”

Brown said it’s easy to put on a smile and pretend everything is OK. He credits former Mississippi teammate and roommate Elijah Moore, rookie with the New York Jets this season, with helping him through his most difficult moments. He also reached out for professional help, which he’s still using.

The receiver currently leads the Titans with 41 catches for 567 yards and three touchdowns.

Titans coach Mike Vrabel said Monday he appreciates Brown’s courage in speaking up about mental health. The coach focuses regularly on the mental health of the Titans and said he is glad they’ve been able to provide a safe space for people dealing with the strain that being in the NFL can put on professional athletes.

“Hopefully his message can help somebody else feel comfortable to seek help, get things off their chest, to be able to talk through things, and I think that is a great example,” Vrabel said.

Vrabel added that the Titans discussed a college football player whose death in November 2015 was ruled a suicide and how his mother thought her son seemed happy. That struck home with Vrabel, father of two sons, with one playing football at Boston College.

“Having kids that are going to start going off away from college and moving on and having their own life, these are real things we all deal with,” Vrabel said. “It is great when people can, especially significant professional football players or athletes, are willing to address it and willing to make statements about it.”


When Ronda Rousey returns to the Octagon, she’ll be doing so with a more level head on her shoulders.

A number of factors contributed to Rousey’s catastrophic loss to Holly Holm last November that cost her the UFC women’s bantamweight championship and her unblemished record. In addition to her technical limitations, the hype surrounding her success and her dalliances with Hollywood were both suspected to have had a negative effect on her training and subsequent performance.

Rousey was invited to speak at a Reebok Women’s Luncheon in Los Angeles on Tuesday, and she appeared to have a fresh outlook on what it meant to lose her aura of invincibility.

“Every single setback it’s not the end of the world, it’s just the beginning of that lesson,” Rousey said, according to “That had to happen for me to learn these certain things and it’s not about being completely infallible, it’s about getting better and there’s no room for improvement in perfect.”

The words are a sharp turnaround from the initial disappointment and frustration Rousey felt in the months after the Holm loss. In particular, she seems to have moved past the suicidal thoughts she mentioned experiencing during an appearance on “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” in February.

Rousey is now preaching a message of acceptance and optimism.

“A lot of people think they’re a good person because they don’t do this, and they don’t do that. But for me, it’s not about what you abstain from, it’s about what you do that makes a difference,” Rousey said. “When it comes to challenges, I honestly believe that things happen for a reason.

“At the time yes it’s hard on a personal, emotional level and it’s hard to look past what’s happening to the future, but you have to believe in yourself because down the line in two, five, ten years’ time you’ll look back and think that was actually the best thing that ever happened to me.”


Miesha Tate believes the third time will be the charm if she faces Ronda Rousey again.

Appearing on FOX Sports Radio’s “Jay Mohr Sports” on Monday, the new UFC women’s bantamweight champion expressed doubt about Rousey having the mindset necessary to reclaim her crown after experiencing suicidal thoughts following her loss to Holly Holm in November.

“What about Ronda’s mentality?” Tate said, according to Marc Raimondi of MMA Fighting. “I think Ronda is beating herself up over this. I mean, she previously said that she’s so emotional to the point where she’s considering crazy things. It’s like, this is a broken woman. I don’t know if she’ll ever come back the same.

“But I have proven that I can come back from adversity and I do come back and I will come back. And there’s no one in this sport that can break me. I have the strongest mindset of anybody in there.”

The landscape of the women’s bantamweight division was turned upside down when Tate choked out Holm in the final round of their title fight at UFC 196 to become world champion.

Tate barely had time to celebrate as UFC president Dana White has already named Rousey the next fighter in line to challenge her. The two women have fought a pair of title fights, with Rousey winning by armbar both times.